Kids at weddings can be amazing. Take these cool cats for example! But not everyone wants a family affair, and we believe you have the right to the wedding you want. So if you want a kid free wedding, here’s our best advice to make it happen.
How many kids are we talking about?
Before it becomes a thing: take stock of your guest list and figure out exactly how many kids you need to be concerned about. If it’s under 5 children, just make arrangements to call (yes, like on the phone) those parents and let them know personally about your decision to not invite kids and why – and that you are so looking forward to celebrating with them and you know they will understand/appreciate the night off/whatever. They’ll more often than not feel better about the situation with a personal touchpoint like a phone call.
I absolutely believe you can have a few kids in the ceremony and still decide to not invite all the children of your guests. They are a fun addition, it makes them (and their parents) feel included, and usually these are children that are very close to you. You do not owe anyone an explanation either before or after – it’s your wedding.
How to let people know kids are not invited
For invitations: Be polite but firm: ‘Adults only please’ or ‘Adults only reception’ or ‘please no guests under the age of x’. You should always only address the invitations to who you are specifically inviting: Mr and Mrs X, Jane Doe and Robert Smith, or to invite the whole household: The Smith-Jones Family.
Top level no kids invitation advice: Your RSVP can include a number of guests you write in: ‘We have reserved ___ seats in your honor.’ I won’t say I haven’t seen people cross this out and write something else – but we all know there are special places in h-e-double hockey sticks for those people.
When they can’t leave them at home.
For people coming to your wedding from long distances, it’s definitely the hospitable thing to make the gesture and arrange for a sitter if you aren’t inviting kids to the wedding. It’s an even nicer gesture to pay but you don’t HAVE to. Presumably if they don’t live here they couldn’t just make the arrangements themselves like they could at home. Put this info on your wedding website so people know when they make travel arrangements.
Honesty will help you down the line
Our best advice? Don’t lie. Saying things like ‘we don’t have room’ or ‘our venue won’t let us’ when that is not actually the case will only make it seem like you would love to have kids but something is stopping you – thus inviting more questions and/or possible family strife if you are found out.
Bottom line with kids: you’re not forcing anyone to come to your wedding, you are INVITING them, and they can choose to come to your event based on your terms or not. That includes if you want an adults only wedding.
February 14, 2020